YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
