As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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