had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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