Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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