Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize