I must be too annoying 4 u.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
