My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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