I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You are the jesus of drinking
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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