where am i from again
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Are we still banned from the library?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
