Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It was confusing and full of hummus
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
whose ass print is on the piano?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
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