just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
