the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
