You smell like a Billy Joel song
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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