is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
