if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize