Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
