she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
