thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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