forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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