You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
