how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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