He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
