i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
