one two three fourrrrnication!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
