Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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