I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
