Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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