The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This baby is an asshole
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
false alarm, still single
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