just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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