'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
