you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
