he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
