There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
