Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
