would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
