fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
