im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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