upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
