I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
