i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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