Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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