You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I am naked and annoyed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
