before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
