we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
God I need to hump something, right now.
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