I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My dick has a subreddit
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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