Screwed.edu
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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