I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
