I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
