They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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