i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
