I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
