dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
