I need help removing her.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont even know how to be here
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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