Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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