ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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