know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
