oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
