First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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