She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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