I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
its liver damage thursday
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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