i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
