Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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