But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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