Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
