there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
