you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
