The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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